December 29, 2011

  • My Top Ten New Years Resolutions….

     

     

    My Top Ten New Years Resolutions….

     

    1.…Don’t drink before sex.

    2.…Get used to not having sex.

    3.…Lose 50 pounds starting next November.

    4.…No more references to Wifey’s weight when she can hear.

    5.…No more dropping cats in the Goodwill bin after dark.

    6.…No more jokes about Wifey’s hair colorization and Guinness World Records.

    7.…No more dozing off in the McDonalds drive thru.

    8.…No more taking a leak in the backyard when I cut the grass.

    9.…Stop using terms like “dumb ass” and “donkey dicks” around the grandkids.

    10. Tell Wifey everyday that she is beautiful. 

     

     

     

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