April 26, 2012
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Life Is Like A Football Game
The Game Of LifeIt’s interesting, how your life evolves as you get older…..much like a football game. In the first quarter of my life, the majority of my thoughts were focused on fornicating any female that was not on a respirator. In my eyes, I had the physic of a Green Bay line backer with long wavy hair and the charisma of Joe Montana plus the intellect of a NASA astronaut. These were the college years. But, unfortunately, I was a first round draft choice for the military.
The second quarter of my life was committed to family, job and my front lawn. The game was played five days a week with the weekends used as time out. Vacations were the off seasons and grass seed was spread each April. My hair stopped being wavy.
During the halftime of my passing years, I stopped to reflect and take stock of what I had accomplished. Seems that what I had accomplished was to lose half my hair, gain thirty pounds, get my kids into college and have the nicest lawn in the neighborhood. At this point I kicked off into my midlife crisis. I jogged, combed my hair over the bald spots, wore bright colored pants, flirted with anybody that was not on a respirator, and paid someone to take care of my lawn. It was during this time I started amassing numerous game penalties and even fumbled the marriage ball once and was traded.
Into the third quarter of my life I was an old pro. Not note worthy for the hall of fame, but all the same, I had learned from my mistakes and was now a seasoned player. I had accepted baldness as a badge of humility and my extra weight as a facade of my jolly demeanor. I would only flirt on the internet using my Brad Pitt avatar and by now, most of my lawn was dead.
I am now into the final quarter of this game called life. I played hard and won most of the time, but still carry the defeats with me every day. Nowadays, I spend most of my time on the injured player’s list and sit out most of life’s game on my comfortable La-Z-Boy bench. I’ve made efforts to pass on my game strategy to the young rookies around me, but they’re too busy fornicating to listen.
As the final ‘two minute’ warning sounds and they cart me away to the ‘home’, I can honestly say that every day of my life has been a Super Bowl. As I will most likely finish my final days roaming down the hallways of the ‘home’ with my walker running interference for me, I think I will visit some old time cheerleader on her respirator. I think I can still score before the games over.
Comments (7)
Interesting comparison, I like to think of my life as one big opera, I’ve gone through great happiness and deep sadness, I’ve already played my role as the heroic tenor but now I play the role of the fatherly baritone who looks back at his life and hopes that he made the right choices throughout his human existence…just waiting for the final curtain call.
This is a wonderful metaphor! I’m almost to the end of Q3 — not looking forward so much to the final quarter, with the Lazy Boy and the walker, but life is still good!
live life…without getting tackled.
I love the metaphor! Wonderful post!
Manhood until the end! A true sportsman! Great post.
But how do you measure a quarter of life ,, a middle of life ..; ?
In friendship
Michel
wow!..amazing.. I’ve no words to describe it!
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