I read a heart warming, perspiring and nerve fraying post by a young friend of mine, about one of her typical days. I’m sure a lot of you also have similar days like her. The stressful push to deal with a demanding day and the unrelenting routine of it all. Indentured to making a living, herding and housebreaking children, tolerating an unsympathetic spouse and simply surviving the day. Yep…..it can suck as bad as a Wombisi Blood Bat.
Well….I don’t have those days anymore. You see, I’m retired now. Done, finished and you can shove my timecard in the ol‘ corporate slot. I haven’t even set my alarm clock in over a year. I don’t take quickie showers anymore, but embrace myself with long hot baths every day while I read the paper. I usually have my first beer at lunch or during my bath. I watch Seinfeld reruns, old movies, FOX NEWS, CNN, Home Shopping Network and the VIEW. I water my garden and cut fresh roses for the dining room table. I go for long walks at the local park and at HOME DEPOT. In the afternoon, I go online and spend about an hour on ’Xanga’ and an hour on ‘Sassy’s House of Breast’. I also enjoy classical music, not like the Stones from the sixties, but the real stuff like Bach, Muddy Waters, Leon Redbone and Mozart. I have had time to reread a lot of my favorite books like ‘The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire’, Stephen Hawking’s ‘A Brief History Of Time,’ Julia Child’s ‘Mastering the Art of French Cooking,’ James Day’s ‘Washington Hooker’s and Interns,” and Wilbur Snout’s ‘Mating Habits of the Wombisi Blood Bat.’
Of all the friends I’ve had over the years, many have passed on, moved away, joined Jehovah’s Witness or hang out in gay bars for seniors. So….I entertain myself with myself. I make sock puppets and use them to put on one man presentations of the Presidential debates, Shakespeare’s Hamlet or Romeo and Julia Childs. I stay busy. Wifey still works so she won’t interfere with my retirement, but in return I do all the dark colored laundry and I pick up Chinese food four nights a week for dinner. We usually have a quiet dinner of Kapow chicken and watch ‘Cops’ on TV. Yeah, kinda sucks.
My life is now well organized, stress free, no time restraints, no demanding obligations or time consuming duties……I should be brain dead in about six months, followed by atrophy.
