September 2, 2012
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MY DRESS CODE….what of it?
CLOTHES MAKES THE MAN
I taught school for several years and then went into management for the remaining years of my sanity. I had a respectable collection of sport coats and suits….too many to count. I had a drawer full of dress ties that you could have fabricated a rope from and climb down the side of the Grand Canyon. When I retired, I gave most all of my wardrobe to ‘Goodwill’.
Retirement……yes! Now I do what I want, go where I want and dress the way I want. I’m a big guy, six foot tall and just this side of 300 pounds. My bulk served me well when I wrestled in college, but now I just serve my bulk.
My current wardrobe consist of a multitude of shorts, (all earth tones), a dozen or so tank tops with multiple stains resembling a Jackson Pollock masterpiece. I also have a score of golf shirts and several beloved hats and caps, (I guess there’s a difference). For foot leather, I have two pairs of Dockers loafers and a nice pair of Nike’s I bought in 2003. I will never wear ‘flip flops’ as it makes me look like a sumo wrestler, duck walking down the sidewalk! I don’t wear thongs for fear of being in a traffic accident and I don’t wear boxers because my briefs are so old and stretched, that they look like boxers anyway, (Wifey’s comment, not mine). I don’t wear those ‘cargo shorts’, you know, the one’s just above the ankles, because I had to wear hand-me-down pants like that when I was ten and had no choice. And it also seems like every goofy clown in every circus has always worn goofy pants likethat for over a hundred years.
I still have a few socks in several different shades of deep blue. The one suit I still have has a “VOTE FOR REAGAN” pin on it. Last of all, I do have a large assortment of bathing suits printed with Tahitian sunsets, soaring seagulls and star fish patterns. I never go to the beach anymore because I’m afraid I might drown a Liberal. However, I do swim in our pool at home almost everyday, but I never wear a bathing suit.…go figure…..but don’t dwell on the mental image too long as it may cause a brain regurgitation . Bad enough that half the squirrels have fell dead from heart attacks!
Wifey, on the other hand, is a walking ‘clothing bazaar’. She always dresses well anytime she goes out like to the store, flea market, gas station, drive thru or yard sale. When we go out to eat, she has to get ‘Sex In The City’ perfect! Even at home when she works in the yard she must have the proper pair of shorts and top, coordinated yard shoes, appropriate hat to accommodate the current position of the sun and NEW garden gloves! I just sit in the shallow end of the pool with my beer and watch the squirrels fall from the trees.
Wifey dresses perfect for any and all important occasions….whereas, I only dress up for weddings and funerals. I just wish they could combine the events.DISCLAIMER: If I’ve offended any friends or clowns on this site, I humbly ask your forgiveness and understanding for an old fart and his above average taste .
Comments (5)
Oh my you made me laugh like crazy at the the picture…I wonder if he shops at walmart…I use to be in management and I wore dress clothing all the time now that I am not working I wear jeans and tee shirts most of the time.
I like the People of Walmart videos.
Oh man i think I saw this dude in Walmart.
I live in a small economically depressed town and the latest styles be damned. We wear what we can afford and us old short, grey haired, chubby ladies make sure we are covered up and that those rolls are not hanging out for the world to see.
My wife now buys my clothes and tells me what to wear.
That guy should really have his buns waxed if he’s going to wear those shorts!
For a few years, while I was extremely depressed, I wore beige t-shirts every day. I thought they made me invisible. It worked, kinda. Hmm, I coulda been a superhero.