September 27, 2012

• Blonde Research

   

   

    Clairol-addictus hypertrichosis

   

      As a required disclaimer to protect myself from the Plagiaristic Nazi patrol, it is necessary that I report the documented information below as belonging to an outside source and not of my creation. Being truthful about where we all acquire our blog material is only proper and righteous. The information listed below was documented from private resources associated with the CBRC, (California Blonde Research Center), and associated with the current CRB, (Catch and Release Blondes) programs currently sponsored by the old Clinton-Weiner bill of 1996. The condition of Clairol-addictus hypertrichosis is not funny and has resulted in billions of brain cells perishing before their time. This report is dedicated to all those who are follicle melanin challenged.

  The CBRC reported Blondeness in seven degrees of intensity. The first being the most common and the seventh, as the most extreme case:
  　
  FIRST DEGREE….A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said ‘How should I know; that’s 200 miles from here!’ and hung up. The husband said, ‘Who was that?’ The wife answered, ‘I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.’

  SECOND DEGREE….Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, ‘Hmm, this person looks familiar.’ The second blonde says, ‘Here, let me see!’ So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, ‘You dummy, it’s me!’

  THIRD DEGREE….A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, ‘No, honey, don’t do it!!!’ The blonde replies, ‘Shut up, you’re next!’

  FOURTH DEGREE….A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, ‘Go ahead, ask me, … I know ‘em all.’ A friend says, ‘OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin ?’ The blonde replies, ‘Oh, that’s easy, it’s W.’

  FIFTH DEGREE….Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? A: ‘Is it mine?’

  SIXTH DEGREE….Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, ‘That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .’

  SEVENTH DEGREE….Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, ‘I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!’

  ***Here I want to make a point that all the beautiful blondes on this site are nothing like the above! @Greatmartin told me about a few, but I totally disagreed with him…..just saying.

   

                                                                                                                  Charlie

   

   

   

  • 11:05 pm
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