Friday, 17 August 2012
Wednesday is my day with my buddies. Sam, Edgar and Pud. Our Wednesdays are righteous to us all, and we take them very serious. Sam picks us all up in his van, a 94 Mercury Villager, and we head down to the Village Café for biscuits and gravy with extra bacon on the side. Here we plan our day.
One of our favorite pastimes is driving the twenty minutes to the local airport and going through the security check points several times to get patted down. At our age, getting patted down is as close to having an affair as we can get. Edgar hit the jackpot last April and got a cavity search because the detectors went off the scale. Seems Rusty had one of those radioactive prostate implants and the airport bomb detector indicated that he had an A bomb up his ass. Took over an hour of probing and then the rest of the day to get the smile off his face.
But, we usually just go down to “Fantasy Lanes” and bowl. Most times they make us take the furthest lane down next to the wall cause of the cussing and flatulence. We cherish the privacy anyway. We have two pools that we put a buck in each. One is for high score bowler and the other is our on running “heart attack” pool. I know, betting on who has a heart attack while bowling may seem tragic and cruel to you, and at one time we were ashamed about it until the pool reached $400 and now we watch each other like circling hawks. We usually bowl three games. The two low scorers of each game has to buy a pitcher of beer after each game. After six pitchers and three games, we all go to the restroom and then stagger out to Sam’s van. We drive about a mile down the road and pull into the McDonald's to use the restroom again and then leave.
We soon stop at KFC and use their restroom and pick up a bucket of extra crispy poultry and then head over to Pud’s condo and play some nickel poker. While we play we talk about politics and how hot Sarah Palin looks and drink a few more beers, but we finally stop drinking when we start fantasizing about Hillary Clinton.
Close to supper time, we use Pud’s bathroom and then load up in Sam’s Villager so he can drop us all off at our homes. I spend the next two days with my bowels in torment and being bombarded with a blitzkrieg of “I told you so’s” from Wifey.
All and all…….life is good when you got buddies to share it with, plus, I noticed Edgar didn’t look all that well last time we bowled…just observing.