April 23, 2012

• I Understand Women Now

  

  
     I’ve seen and learned many wonderful and often terrifying things in my life. Some, I relished the experience, while others had me plunged into a mental abyss. I’ve seen two headed goats and Democrats that knew math. I’ve talked to people from many countries and even a few who were left by their “mother ship.” Yes, I have seen, done and learned a great deal in my life. At this advanced point in my life, I can truthfully say I finally understand women. Wifey has taught me a great deal and I have also been aided by my numerous exposures to the philosophies of Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer.

     I have learned, to my shame, that behind every successful man, there is an amazed woman. Men have their weaknesses, sure, and every woman on this planet knows those weaknesses and are expertise in cultivating these short comings for later leverage. There are a lot of smart guys in this world and you see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. But beware!!!….women have an unfair advantage over men. If they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by acting dumb. I know, that’s not funny, except to half of us. Being a woman is a terrible and difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men…..OK, enough said. We need each other, even if it’s debatable.

     We still have life choices we all make and must do so from time to time. Women have choices like they can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had…….work or prison. Another “lifestyle” choice women have is their appearance. To me, Wifey is more beautiful than any sunset, delicate flower or lava flow and I respect the things she does to maintain that incredible beauty for me to worship…..OK, enough said.

     First of all, men must understand and respect what appearance means to women. First of all, there is their age. If you really believe the age of a woman doesn’t mean anything, because the best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles, then there’s a place for you on Jerry Springer. Some women, not all, from 30 feet away, look beautiful. From 10 feet away, they look like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away. Nobody on this site, thank God………OK, enough said.

     Second, women dress alike all over the world….. they dress to be annoying to other women. Shopping was invented by women maybe 60,000 years ago, maybe at a cave mall. Today, they shop like they have a weird virus or something and the credit card is the only thing that will save them. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed they invade other countries. We are both totally different in our needs. When a woman asks how she looks in her new clothes, always remember the movie “Psycho.” If her clothes look snug on her tell her they look “poorly made” and she needs to go out and buy some more. Never comment on her rear-end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with rear-end…..never! OK,……enough said.

     Being equal is another social minefield. Every woman in my world today, I feel, is my total equal. I really believe women just want to be treated in marriage as equals and not sequels. Now many believe that a woman who seeks to be equal with men lack ambition. I say contraire!! You don’t always have to be ambitious,….many men just make it easy and don’t even know it!

     Final word……Women are very special and give humanity the purity and beauty it needs as well as the courage to endure……My final thoughts I want to pass on to the younger guys is first—-respect women. Guys are like dogs; you can smack us with a stick and we keep coming back. Ladies are like cats; yell at them one time…they’re gone. The next point I want to make is women are fun! Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere is an old saying that I no longer subscribe to, (anymore)……The entire point is to just be happy with each other, no matter the sacrifice. To be happy with a man, a woman must understand him a lot, and only love him a little. To be happy with a woman, a man must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all…..took years to learn that. OK, enough said. 

    
  To my dear, beautiful Wifey……I screwed up my medications this afternoon and can’t be held responsible for this blog…….OK, enough said.

  • 11:18 am
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