Ramblings Of The Mind
Friday, 07 June 2013
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Possible Blogging Sites
No two sites are a like. WordPress is too cold and poorly structured for me. Here are two sites I belong to that may be of interest to some of my friends......Charlie
Friday, 24 May 2013
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Old Farts Need Love Too....!
SWEET MAMA
After 66 years of living among the humanoids, I have surmised several absolutes about us all. Time can really be slow when we have to wait, too quick when we’re afraid, too long when we have to grieve, too short when we want to party, but….for those of us who love, time is truly an eternity. It only takes a small amount of hope to kindle love, but sometimes our hopes are as fragile as a young girl’s dreams. We spend our younger years waiting for love to come to us and then, as we age, we haphazardly seek it out. Meeting people in bars or on line who have bled out most of their love, with heart’s as neglected as a garden of dead flowers and shriveled hopes.
Wifey and I have been blessed from day one with many treasures. First off, her tender attention to my every boo-boo and of course the excitement of my raging stallion lust! I also do laundry. Most important, there has been a never ending plague of affection between us from the very beginning. Our first kiss occurred after we started repeating the same conversations over and over, and words became superfluous. I guess it was a natural reaction for shutting each other up. Fact was, she was an excellent kisser and hugger and fortunately, I was a magnificent one. I’m not saying we didn’t enjoy our discussions, not at all, cause I already knew I was half way in love with her when she let me do most of the talking!Well, many years have passed and she has allowed me to get away with a lot. In return, I have allowed her to remind me of that fact each and every day. I’m not going to get into any detail about the way I feel about her, except to say, if Wifey were to live fifty more years, I pray that I live the same…minus one day, cause I’ll never have the strength to live on, even one day without her.
Charlie
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
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The Good....The Bad....and The Ugly of Marriage!!!
No man should ever marry until he has studied the female anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
A long marriage can be one of two things. A mutual punishment of cerebral anguish, or a heart thumping love affair. A long marriage starts out like a safari into the steaming jungles of lust and then evolves into the realm of, “Chicken again tonight?” All marriages revolve, twist, gyrate and splatter like a middle age pole dancer. One morning you’re in the bathroom shaving and your bride comes in and takes a dump.....that’s when you know the honeymoon’s over. Amazing when I think back to that time, that I was 20 years old before I found out that women farted just like men, but not as well.
As the nuptial years slough by, you soon adjust, modify and cope with each other. You learn that neither one of you is perfect, as she will often explain to you while you shave. You accept the fact that her mom is a goddess and your own poor old mom is the witch that poisoned Snow White. Her brother is the smartest man ever to graduate high school at the age of 21 and once he gets his parole, he’s going to veterinarian school for wilderness animals like squirrels and moose. Having in-laws is a lot like catching gonorrhea after having great sex.
The years pass and during their midlife debacle, he loses hair, gets a beer gut while her boobs become part of her waistline and her butt takes on new dimensions. At heart, they still feel attractive and the more their aging eyesight diminishes and the elastic holds out, the more they feel irresistible. Now they start to argue a lot. Angry words are spouted out like.....hate, miserable, useless, dickless, asshole, stupid, loser and chainsaw! No one is ever right, only wrong. They go to a marriage counselor, but in reality, most are as useless as a three legged turtle. They finally realize that to survive with each other they must admit when they’re wrong and they need to always compromise.....on everything! Of course this is a friggin fantasy, so they just get divorced and the guy loses his ass and she gets liposuction.
Their evolutionary clocks are ticking, so they hurry and find their next 'real' soul mate.....usually during happy hour in some local bar. Regardless.....they remarry and attempt to avoid all the screw ups they had with their first marriage. In many cases, it works! Now, with a new mate, they journey into their senior years together. The years go by and it’s a mellower time now and their favorite topics are the grandkids and bowel movements. They may disagree from time to time, but considering all the medications they’re on by the time they reach 65, they seldom remember why they’re arguing. There is still a lot of hot sex, but it occurs during REM sleep in the middle of the night while they dream about reality show bimbos and hunks.
So, if you get the urge to get married and you get a good spouse, then you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, then you'll become a philosopher. Anyway, most of you reading this will know I’m only being humorous. But, for those few who believe what I’m saying…..live well grasshoppers.
Charlie
TWITTER: @UncleCharlie
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I have been amused my entire life. 65 years old, retired and happily married to a heavenly paradox. I have also realized that I'm a seeker of truth which is often clouded within the swirling vapors of politics, religion and corporate brain wash. My greatest joy is writing. Stories, observations, poems and on occasion....nonsense! I hope you will take time and indulge yourself in a few of my wandering scripts and if you enjoy them, then I'm happy. If they are not to your taste, well then bite me. Thanks......Charlie
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