I finally had to give in today. I did all I could to prevent it….but alas, it had to be done. I had to have an extraction, (the unnatural process of yanking), today. I had a pre-molar removed, a lifelong friend that had done me good and proper service.  The act of extracting teeth, is actually an unnatural act and a violation of the human skull…..so much for a rant.

    I was offered gas and took it joyfully, because the last time I received a Novocain injection, the needle pierced through my gum and palate and penetrated to the cerebral cortex of my brain. The dentist said I was full of shit, but all I know is I still can’t remember my phone number to this day. Anyway, I was administered the gas and when I returned from my trip, it was all over.  I was relieved, the dentist was satisfied and the assistance, who was in charge of siphoning the life blood from my mouth, was busy texting.

    I have already blogged about dentist before and even though we need them and it’s an honorable profession, it just seems like a strange imbalance of nature to be physically violated, subjected to various levels of pain and then have to pay for the experience….unless they’re wearing a tight bodice and black boots.

 

    

                                                       This Planet Is Doomed….I’m just saying

 

    Seems like every time I turn on the TV, there’s another atmospheric calamity hitting the climate change fan! Earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes, divine winds, hurricanes, solar flares and frogs by the billions!  In the U.S., we have authorities, preachers, gurus and experts coming out of their bat caves and declaring a plethora of theories and warnings. Carbon emissions, industrial waste, evil lumberjacks, landfills, dumping at sea and nuclear waste are just a few of the culprits.

    What about nuclear meltdowns, radiation clouds in the global air currents or leaking nuclear waste? I am amazed at all the IPhD’s….(Idiots with PhD’s)….that have sprouted up over the last decade like mushrooms in a turd field and all of them with a pocket full of radioactive hypothetical’s. These experts are warning us of; headaches, stiffness, rashes, loss of hair, blurred vision, lost sex drive, bowel problems and vomiting. Well, I’m 65 and have had all these symptoms for several years. I know if I eat fewer hot wings and drink less beer, I won’t throw up as much, but the fact is….I don’t have radio active cooties! No one does!

    Doom, doom and more doom! Folks all running out to buy iodine tablets, food, beer, pampers, pregnancy test and DVD’s….then moving down to their basements. People are fragile when it comes to the unknown and the first person to shout the sky is falling is considered the expert. Remember the Y2K scare? Jan. 1, 2000? All our computers were going to crap out and all the web sites would become waste lands with multiple bugs and chaotic malfunctions?  Remember the pandemic warnings about Bird flu, Lyme disease and shingles? Once the scares were over, all these apocalyptic gurus faded back into their bat caves.

    I’m not saying everything you hear is nonsense as some people do have sound evidence and use good judgment and expertise and may very well know what is coming around the corner. One prominent theory is that one day California will break off from the continent and just float away. From what I understand, it will be the result of severe erosions due to the over planting of marijuana in the northern part of the state and the excessive weight of social apoplexy in the southern regions.

    Please don’t get me wrong, I love our planet and I do worry about the starving polar bears and marauding Eskimos. I cringe every time a tree is cut down to build a new home for a young family. When I read about two headed goats in the National Enquirer, I think about leaking barrels of atomic waste buried 500 feet underground in Ohio.  BUT! I can’t go to bed every night and worry if I turn off the light, will I start to glow!! Life is to short and the best philosophy is simply go with the flow. If you can influence positive change, then do it, otherwise just enjoy breathing.

　

 

“We knew the world would not be the same.”

                         Robert Oppenheimer, 1946

 

　

　

　

　

　

 

 

    Children are supposed to be nurtured by their self sacrificing parents. The grownups set the values and then reward their child’s behavior with trust. When the brats violate that trust, then some parents will digress to the child’s level and try to reason with their unripe minds. Other parents will apply a more aggressive approach such as hard love, tempered with a measure of discipline reminiscent of the Spanish Inquisition. The first group of parents may tearfully chastise the young delinquent to a period of Time-Out, or with repeat offenders, Ritalin in their chocolate milk. The other group goes to jail. There is also another group of unique parents, who have never encountered any of these dilemmas…..but they must maintain, and on occasion, upgrade the CCI, (Cerebral Chip Implant) in their child’s brain under the new ‘Federal Health Plan’.

    For those who have experienced these foibles of child rearing, the most difficult discipline is to stop and look at ourselves.  Children learn from their parents. The evils we live by are always passed on to our broods. Our lazy way of speaking English, swearing, bigotry, sexual innuendos, off-colored slang and derogatory references to in-laws. But, it’s also the parents that instill in these developing personas, the fine art of lying! Adults lie everyday around their children. Dad farts and tells the child it’s a dead squirrel under the sofa, (unless there’s a dog).  Parents tell young children that babies come from a place called eBay and delivered by the FedEx stork and that Santa lives at the North Pole on a melting ice shelf, (Liberal parents). Or, the Easter Bunny hops down the celestial escalator each year, (Conservative parents).  The point I’m making, is that they grow up gagging on lies.

    From morning till night, the barrage of inaccuracies and fraudulent facts are overwhelming.  Eat this, or your legs won’t grow….don’t get near your cousin unless you want cooties….stick your finger up your nose again and one of your eyeballs will pop out!….you keep tugging at it and it’ll fall off!….I’m not hurting mommy, we’re just playing ‘rodeo’!  Lies and more lies!

    They are always watching and observing our hypocrisies. When Dad hugs the sister in-law he calls hooker breath, or, when Mom tells Granddad how wise he is and then later on the way home, tells her husband what a warped old coot his Dad is.  Mom telling the kids that her and the mailman are just playing rodeo.  LIES!!!!

    Okay….what do you do for a child that’s perjures themselves constantly?  Deny them food and comfort? Send them to an isolated jungle colony ran by hairy nuns?  Gypsies??  Shipped them off to live with old coot Granddad?  Donate them for medical experiments?  My…..what a conundrum! You can no longer spank them without ending up on FOX News. The solution has always been there…..parents, just don’t lie.  Make it one of your families most important values and preach it’s merits constantly. However, teaching your kids about politicians may well involve therapy. 

 

 

 

　

         

 

          

 

    History tells us, that the first dentists were trained in Spain in the 1400’s during the Inquisition. Many of their early instruments are still used today by dentist and slaughter house technicians. The dentist is an absolute part of our livies, much like birth and death and all the abundant pain associated with both those events. I even hate the Novocain shots, but, I have developed a very nice relationship with the Nitrous Oxide gas.

    OK….here’s a true story with a few minor flourishes to keep it from being boring. Being a good grand dad, (his Mom chickened out), I took my 10 year old grand son to the dentist for his first time. It was not a good day for “Weezer”. The nickname Weezer comes from a character in the old “Our Gang” series from the 1930’s. So, I picked Weezer up at school and as we walked down the hall to the exit door, he reminded me of a condemned convict taking his last walk to the electric chair. I knew he had to have a few fillings, as this was his first visit. As we pulled into the parking lot of the dental clinic, I asked him if he had any last wishes…..my humor was not taken well. Inside the dentist office, I signed him in and we took a seat.

    The waiting room was packed! This particular dentist took KIDCARE and state funded patients. Considering the economy and hard times, a lot of parents are out of work and depend on these services for their kids. This meant the dentist was very busy and most times everybody had to wait a long time. I picked up a copy of Parenting Today, that was about 8 months old and looked at the main story line….“Reasoning With Ritalin, Not Discipline.”  I shook my head and put it back down and looked for a Home And Garden issue. I looked down at Weezer and he looked pale and had a zombie stare…..the condemned was waiting for them to hook up the chair. Every time the door opened to the treatment rooms, his little heart stopped. They would be coming soon. First the priest and then the hooded dentist in his bloody white coat. 

    Giving up on the magazines, I sat and studied the waiting room and noticed something about the Moms there. Most were very large. I’m not blind to the real world and know most women are size 14 to 18, (wifey says so). My wife is a “petite large” and more beautiful now than during my vision healthy days when I first met her. Anyway….at that moment, another Mom walked into the waiting room dragging her dumpling size daughter. She waddled up to the peek-a-boo window to sign in and here’s where I need to be delicate as to describing her. Her butt looked like two large hams stuffed into a polyester laundry bag. I was ashame of myself because I was gawking at her, but it was like watching a semi truck full of pumpkins crash into a brick wall….you just can’t take your eyes away from the phenomenon. Most of the Moms there were well established fast food connoisseurs and I’m sure they all knew the exact times when Dunkin Donuts put out the fresh goods. Most of these women also had very round children with angry hair. I looked down at Weezer and could see he was totally lost in thought and about to start drooling.

    An hour had passed when the door to the death chamber opened and out walked a cheerful girl, dressed in a loose fitting uniform printed with dancing teeth and flying smiles. She looked around the room of heifers and then called Weezer’s real name. For a moment, he stared at her and then looked up at me to verify if she was talking about him. We got up and as much as I wanted to hold his hand, I knew it wasn’t cool, so I just put my hand on his shoulder and we slowly walked towards the door. Weezer was sure that witnesses had been gathered behind some curtained glass window to watch the sad event.

    We walked down a short hallway, (death-roll), and were soon directed into a small room. The lady with the dancing teeth helped him into the CHAIR and then put a BLOOD bib around his neck. He sat rigid as she set him up for x-rays and then she asked me to step outside for a moment. Then she threw the SWITCH! Weezer took a deep breath and it was done. He did well. She pulled all the x-ray junk out of his mouth, praised him for doing so good and then she left. I came back in and walked over to a chair in the corner and sat down. I said, “You know there’s still more to come, don’t you?” He just closed his eyes.

    The dentist finally came in and I shook his hand as did Weezer. “OK, let’s see what we got.” He looked at the x-rays for a moment and then put his doctor mask and gloves on.  Then he bent over the boy and said “Open wide, a little wider, a little wider….very good.” After picking around for a moment he turned and said to me, “Three minor surface cavities. We’ll do them all now.” Whatever religious elements my grandson had, seem to vaporize at that moment. The doc then said, “Just two small injections and then we’ll get started.” He then took a Q-tip looking thing and applied something to numb the boy’s gum, and then said, “I’ll be back in a few…you OK?”  Weezer’s head bobbed around in several directions indicating several answers to the question. He knew the dentist would return soon, and with a black hood over his head.

    The dental tech came in after a few minutes with the syringes and soon the doctor was back to do the deed. As the event unfolded, I noticed all of Weezer’s fingers were spread out and starting to twist in different directions and his legs were stuck straight out. Then it was done. The dentist then stepped out again and after a few minutes, I got up and walked over to the boy. “You OK, Weezer?” He looked up at me and said with rubber lips, “Wagna fa nal.” I smiled and nodded then went and sat down again. Moments later, the doc was back. Leaning over, he engaged the DRILL and directed the apparatus towards my grandson’s mouth. I could clearly see the young boy’s life flashing before his eyes. 15 minutes later, it was done. All done! When the doc finished the last filling he said, “You did great and I’ll see you in six months.” I thought the boy would kiss the doctor’s hand if allowed. He was out of the chair taking the bib off himself and leading the way to the waiting room. I caught up with him and once we were in the car, I said I was proud of him and he deserved something special, and to just name it. He said, “Dokan Dulnats”…..Ya gotta love em!

 

 

 

 

                                                                                            

RIP

   Most folks don’t sit and dwell about the last encore of their life….the closing act.  There’s the responsibility of making a will, prearrangements, final wishes and the burning of hidden photos. Making final arrangements is seldom listed with clean up dog poop on our ‘to-do’ list, but things happen. I know….when you’re in your twenties, thirties and forties, death is just part of a Sylvester Stallone movie or maybe a 20 point score on a video game. So why worry? Well, fact is, 6,575 people slip into rigor mortis every day in this country. Most were not prepared for falling off that ladder or the consequences of flipping off that fat guy in traffic. But, things happen. Now, people don’t really know when their life-ticket is about to expire, except maybe the moment before the semi reaches their front bumper. This blog is a FFT, (Food For Thought), posting. In this case, the funeral.　

 

The Funeral; (The goodbye parade)

    In this country, funerals are as expensive as a HARLEY DAVIDSON . Because of that, almost 32% of all final arrangements are for cremations. Simple with no brass work or fancy fringes and only requires one pallbearer. The funeral is nothing more than a small box placed on a post for folks to gawk at with your photoshopped pic on top. Then the cremains are placed into a small niche in a granite wall and slab-dab, you’re done! Often, the in-laws will endorse the economy plan of just spreading the ashes along I-75 on the way to Denny’s following the service.

 

    The all inclusive casket funeral accounts for about 64% of all arrangements in the US. This tradition is like a five act Greek tragedy. The body is stretched out on a stainless steel slab, then it’s pumped, gouged and filled with pickling chemicals. Afterwards, a lonely cosmetologist decorates the face and hair, so as not to disturb the family by having the dead look dead. Then the carcass is hoisted into a mahogany Celestial Repose, model #B2334, with burnished brass fixtures and inlayed silk bedding, $$$. Then comes the wake or viewing, as a slow procession of over dressed mourners file by the open casket and quietly thank their lucky stars it ain’t them laying there. Then comes the church service with too many words….then a slow motorcade to Slumbering Gardens, $$$ and more words and then finally they toss the dirt.

　

    What has gained popularity among the tree huggers in the last few years are “Green Funerals.”  Out in a remote meadow or in a peaceful forest, a simple grave is dug and the unembalmed remains are either wrapped in a shroud, (bed sheet), or placed in a biodegradable burial container, (wood or wicker), and just simply dropped into the bare earthen hole and covered up. The idea, I guess, is like all of nature, we should return to nature as compost. I can just imagine the varmints waiting in the bushes, licking their chops and patiently waiting for the mourners to leave. I think I just grossed myself out.

   

    Okay, 32% cremations and 64% burials. The remaining 4% can be a puzzler. Sure, a lot of bodies are donated to science or given to carnivals, or whatever, and some also become cryogenic popsicles. Then there’s the half of 1% that no one is sure of. Bodies that just disappear, most likely into remote areas or backyards. That’s for CSI or X-files to figure out.

 

    Final word; If you don’t want to end up as an exhibit in some county fair, or as a homework assignment in some remote medical school in the Caribbean……then make your arrangements.

 

 

 

 

 

 

　

 

 

 

 

    “YOU COME HERE MUCH?”

 

    Every Friday night, I cruise the Tiki lounge at the Marriott for bimbos.  I had a plethora of standard lines I used such as, “You come here much?”….You wax much?”….”You karaoke much?”….”You follow Kim Kardashian much?”….“You twitter much?“….“You ballet dance much?“….all part of my verbal arsenal for bagging booty.

    Last Friday night it was slow and as usual, I sat alone at a small table sipping a Diet Coke and rum. Then she walked in! She wore a dark mauve colored dress that was supported by thin shoulder straps that defied physics as they held up the exotic veil that covered her veracious body. Her skin glowed like a swam of night fairies as it reflected the neon lights from behind the bar. As she entered the lounge, every heart arrested and then, in cadence, beat with every step she took. As she slid onto a barstool, the room swooned as weaker men took medications. Except for Voyeur Cam.com, I had never seen such a woman.

    She had raven black hair that cascaded down onto her supple shoulders like a velvet waterfall. Her butt remaindered him of the Mona Lisa….mesmerizing and too difficult to look away from. She ordered a Tequila Orgasm from the gay bartender who was fascinated in her beauty and hair style. She laid a small clutch purse, made of soft pliable leather, on the bar. It was most likely made from the scrodum of a past lover. If this goddess had demanded a sacrifice, I would have killed to get to the head of the line!

    Then I saw my chance! She reached into the clutch purse and withdrew a small ornate case and took out a cigarette. I jumped to my feet and quick stepped in her direction. As I passed a table of Japanese businessmen, I reached down and snatched up a gold cigarette lighter from the hand of a corporate samurai. Without breaking my stride, I continued on to the bar. As I mounted the stool next to her, I lifted my shaking hand and offered her a flame. She turned her celestial face towards me and concumed me with her violet eyes. Then she smiled. She sucked on the cigarette for a very long moment until it was lit. Then, with smoke slowly escaping from between her scarlet lips, she said, “Thank you.”  The cerebral effort to control my bladder was overwhelming. I sat there totally lost. My brain was numb and I was totally tongue tied as I began to drool. That’s when I heard my mouth say;

   “You put out much?”

 

 

 

           

   

    It fascinates me to think about how far we’ve come in the last thousand years, and especially the last thirty or so years. In particular, our cell phones. My first cell phone was as big as a ham bone, and with it’s huge battery, it weighted as much as a ham. The incredible transition of the “phone,” has been more monumental than the intellectual downsizing of government bureaucrats. The cell phone has truly taken on the cultural status of an icon. No longer are we hindered to waiting agonizing hours before we can talk to our friends or homies. No longer must we take paper and pen to script letters of heart felt feelings and emotions, but instead we can simply text our minions….granted, this style of communicating has set the English language back to the MFN Iron age….k?

    From the days of the brick heavy black phones, manufactured in the USA by the Western Electric company, to the minuscule Swap NOVA phones manufactured in China by some folks in a remote village in Guang Dong. Phones have advanced faster than the Kardashians, with no end in sight. My prediction is that within ten years, cell phones will be in suppository form….yeah, that’s what some people should do with them now. Anyhow….here’s a few useful facts for my friends and their electronic pacifiers…….

4 Things you might not have known about your Cell Phone;

 For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.) There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST (Emergency)

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND (Hidden Battery Power)

Okay….your friggin cell battery is about shot. To activate a reserve source, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.

THIRD (How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone)

To check your Mobile phone’s serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: *#06#….A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone is ripped off, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your phone, so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won’t get the damn phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can’t use or sell it either. If everybody did this, then only stupid people would steal phones…..sooo, that would be about 80% of them.

FOURTH (Free Directory Service for Cells)

Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don’t have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800) FREE411 or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.

  This message is brought to you by the midnight shift of the good people of Guang Dong, China. 你 你.

 

 

 

　

 

 

I’m a creation of the 60’s. During that incredible decade, I became a teenager, adult, Vet, husband and father. What a decade!  Allow me to give you a few facts about the most important decade of my life:

 

COST OF LIVING:
A McDonald’s Hamburger was 15 cents.
Gallon of gas was 31 cents.
Minimum wage was $1.25
First class stamp was 4 cents.
Unemployment was 5.5%
National debt was $285 billion.
Dads new Chevy cost $2,730.
The average man’s salary was $4,800 (most women were housewives) .
45 records were 79 cents.
Bryl-creem was 45 cents a tube.
Gallon of milk was 59 cents                                                                                                                               New Homes were $16,500                                                                                                                           Porterhouse Steak was $1.19 per pound 

PEOPLE:
Neighbors kept an eye on your house and all the neighborhood kids.
People seldom thought about suing or worried about being sued….they just worked it out.
Welfare rolls were very small and their office was only open two days a week.
Divorce was 9%, (almost 50% today).
Dude might kick your ass over an issue back then, but never shoot you!
People left their homes and cars unlocked.
You could pick up hitch hikers.
You didn’t need an ID to write a check at the store.

WHAT WE HAD:
TV dinners.
8 track tapes.
Transistor radios.
Mustangs and GTO’s.
Afros.
Bell bottoms.
Mini dresses.
Go Go boots.
Bee hives and bouffants.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Television with role models.

WHAT WE DID NOT HAVE:
Most homes and cars had no air conditioning.
Cell phones. (Our phones were connected forever, to the wall by a cord).
Blackberry’s……(made good pies).
Computer….a what?                                                                                                                                       A pedophile epidemic. 
Plastic bags.
Drive by shootings.
Terrorist.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

ENTERTAINMENT:
Elvis was king.
The Beatles were groovy.
Mohammed Ali was the greatest
TV had three channels.
We all watched the same TV shows.
Sports players never changed teams and they were all heroes.
Most all TV shows were aimed at young families.

AMERICA‘S CULTURE:

    It was during this time when we finally came to our senses about civil rights and unity. It is still a journey not completed. Every one spoke English. When you immigrated to this country, you learned English because you wanted the benefits and protection of the American culture. There were no hand outs to new immigrants; you were expected to work for what you needed and wanted. You became part of our cultural MELTING POT, which made you an American citizen….not a hyphenated-American.                                                         When we were in our twenties, we didn’t bellyache about hardships and sacrifices, it would have dishonored the previous generation who lived through the great depression and fought in World War II and Korea. They never complained…..they only wanted their children to have it better than they did. In school we had higher SAT scores than today. We had to diagram sentences, learn our multiplication tables, learn history, civics, write cursive, recite poems and speeches. If we failed, we were held back…..period! 
    The 60’s were not perfect and often we had our hearts broken: We lost our young President, John F. Kennedy….the conscience of our country, Martin Luther King and a devoted American, Robert F. Kennedy. 
    There was a great renaissance in science towards the end of the 60’s. We landed on the friggin moon!  Satellites now circled the earth for the first time. Polio was added to the list with small pox as being conquered. Heart transplants were now being done. The U.S. was now producing more crops and commercial goods than any other country. 90% of all TVs and large household appliances were American made. We had an auto industry that consumed the world. A new two bedroom home cost $16,000. We were a proud and cocky nation. We “were”. 

    We eventually ended the sixties and then, sadly, we brought into the 70’s the shame and unhealing wounds of Viet Nam and a drug culture that has haunted us for 40 years. We had elected a President that lied and shamed the American people. We were now enslaved to credit. We started to lose our way. The 60’s was the last hooray of a country that’s now old before it’s time. The once rich and naive nation now feeds on itself for survival. We are still a great nation of “people”….I’m just not sure about the rest of it.               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

       

 

 The pages on the calendar are peeling off like the skin on a rotten banana. Catch your breath……it’s 2012 and you know what that means!

   

    Many believe, that the world concert being played right now, is coming to its finale as far as the human race is concerned. It will soon be the end of time as we know it. It is the date when our sun reaches the Galactic Equator of the Milky Way, (Known as the Sacred Tree.) The time will be, 11:11 a.m. ‘world time’ on December 21, 2012 and is literally written in stone on the Mayan calendar. 

    Is it negotiable? Well, I don’t think the smooth lawyers or wealthy unions can help much with this. As I understand it, it’s the end of the present order and it is NOT negotiable. December 21, 2012 is an appointment with destiny….the apocalypse….last hurrah….Armageddon….so don’t waste your time packing! 

    O.K……here’s some scientific crap, so stay awake. Relativity, as formulated by Einstein and the subsequent quantum laws, is only a rediscovery of the long lost wisdom known by the Mayan guys and many other wise civilizations around the ancient world. The Mayan’s were just the last one’s to document it.

    Those who understand that the fractality principle is the foundation of the Mayan time cycles, will of course know, that the Sumerian division of a day into 24 hrs and an hour into 60 min, the Egyptian Sothic cycles or the Vedic Yugas are formulated on the same principles. This shit can really make your head hurt! Seems they all predict the same outcome, as does the Mayan long count, that the end will come during the winter solstice of 2012. It will not be this or that or maybe….the end means the end.  Yeah, I don’t remember any of this in school either.

Apocalypse and Armageddon;
    All the world’s major religions have a “Party’s Over”, scenario. Most of the time it involves a lot of fire, CGI monsters, guys with wings and horns, calamity and a whole lot of “I told you sos!” Matthew and the book of Daniel were more than sufficient to make us worry about the end of days, but it was John and the book of Revelations that scared the bejesus out of us.

FALSE PROPHETS;
    Matthew 24:11 “And many false prophets will arise, and will mislead many.”
    This starts in Washington every Monday morning and ends with “The Evangelistic Hour” on channel 6 every Sunday night. Arm waving pontificators with the charisma needed to keep folks terrified and confused.

WARS;
Matthew 24:6 “And you will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars; see that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.”
    FOX, CNN and all the rest. Count the wars, both civil and international in the last ten years! AK 47’s and APG’s are manufactured at a greater volume than most fast food combo’s.

FAMINES and EARTHQUAKES;
Matthew 24:7 “For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.”
    African farmers starve in increasing numbers due to droughts and civil wars in with food being as much a bargaining chip as weapons and bribes.  Massive earthquakes, along with tsunamis, tornadoes, hurricanes and climate change has touched every continent now. The number and intensity of earthquakes this century is at a level higher than any other time in history. A staggering number of seismic events occur around the world daily. The earthquake seismic monitor IRIS shows all major earthquakes for the last year as being more than 400% higher than the year before. California is but a fart’s vibration from breaking off the west coast like a Ritz Cracker.

THEN IT REALLY GETS HAIRY;
Revelations 4:6-11 “In the midst of the Throne, and round about the Throne, were FOUR BEASTS full of eyes before and behind. And the First Beast was like a LION, and the Second Beast like a CALF, and the Third Beast had a face as a MAN, and the Fourth Beast was like a FLYING EAGLE. And the four Beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within….

O.K….this is pretty much more info than I really need.

In conclusion….At 11:11 am, Friday morning, 2012….me and Wifey, with our cups of coffee, will be sitting in our lawn chairs on our back patio. At 11:30 am, we’ll go back inside and have lunch….enough said.