April 25, 2012
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Why We Lie……!
The untruth will set you freeI have read several articles on the subject of truth lately, and I am impressed by how cerebral and deep the subject can be……hummmm. I was naive and thought it was the opposite of lying. I did not know it dealt with inner conflicts, ulterior judgments and existential discoveries. I’m a little more down-home and ”say what?” in my thinking process, I guess
When I was a kid the truth was avoided because it was often rewarded with a butt whoopin; “Did you break this?, What’s that smell?, Where did you leave your little brother?” The lie was my shield and the truth was the gallows. My teen years were spent perfecting the lie with girls I met and dated. In later years at work, I had to tell the truth because of paper trails and back stabbers. Lying was the prerogative of upper management.
The abundance of “white lies” were structurally part of the early years of my marriage. “For your own good,” lies were used while raising my kids. “I love your salmon casserole,” and “Sure, I’d love to skip the ballgame and go visit your mom and watch a golf match with your comatose dad on their 23 inch TV.” Lies kept the piece and assured a piece, if you know what I mean. I had to drag the chains and shackles of untruths, omitted facts, tall tails and blatant whoppers for years and I was, in effect, my very own prisoner, guarded by the fallacies of my own making.
It was not until my gray years that I realized the comfort and emotional relief of telling the truth. Sharing the honest and sometimes embarrassing omissions with close friends, family and most of all Wifey, that my mind and emotional spirit were set “free” at last. I could finally rejoice in the ability to raise my hand up in a group of people and proudly admit to a fart, or stop at the grocery check out and tell the cashier she gave me $10 too much change back. I could finally tell my in-laws what I found fundamentally wrong with their children and, of course, their own common sense.
The truth has surely set me free with my marriage. The greatest release to my spiritual being has been the ability to honestly and openly speak out and no longer use lies to cloud my short comings and failures to my wife. This has strengthen our love beyond barriers. In all things, the “truth” has been my salvation to a stronger and more rewarding marriage. In issues of her hair color and how her clothes look on her, I still lie………I’m truthful, not stupid.
**I did not delve into the stigma of political lying because, as it’s well known, a politician’s lie has a short “statue of limitations,” that last only until they are reelected.
Comments (9)
I like this a lot.
I always found when I was in high school that I got more and achieved more when I told the truth.
I never have been a good liar my mom use to say my eyes told the story
“I could finally tell my in-laws what I found fundamentally wrong with their children and, of course, their own common sense. ” Priceless.
“lies kept the peace and assured a piece”….that made me laugh! But, oh so true!
I’ve known a couple people who are pathological liers. I don’t know what causes them to be that way, but I suspect they feel inadequate, and the truth is not good enough. Maybe that’s why we lie when we’re young…we have the need to fit in and look better to others. As we get older we realize that what others think really doesn’t matter.
@WakeUpLaughing - Excellent reasons!!
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Kind of boring position and sometimes we do go outside of our sphere of experience. I would say that this is a very average blog in that not much controversy is added here.
People who want to do less constructive criticism tell the truth and don’t add any advice to counter the truth. You need to care to tell the truth sometimes. Change is possible if you are also willing to participate in the change. That is Lip service truth, where the truth is offered with no offering of your help. I suppose even offering to love your wife more even though she doesn’t like the hair color is not offering more of you to defend the natural hair color. She knows she has to battle the public on her own and not have your support at those times.
@PPhilip - Are you for real?
@UncCharlie - And? This is your blog. You said what you want to say. If you are not more specific then I will not go anywhere but just leave my comment. I don’t know you nor do you know me and I am not here on xanga to make enemies or friends but just write how I feel at times.