April 27, 2012

• Dying

   

  DYING      The death of someone means different things to all of us, and at the same time it means the same. Shock, remorse, pain, loss, regret, sadness and yes, sometimes relief. To some it’s an unnerving sense of loss that’s beyond their control. There is the shock and speechless response to the news. For some, it is a pain that totally consumes them and yet, for other’s, it is but another chapter in an unending cycle which they accept with limited emotion. The agony of the heart, as you watch a loved one succumb to a painful cancer, but in that same heart, you are undeniably relieved by their peaceful passing. We will all spend our lives saying goodbye to grandparents, parents, spouses and for some, their own cherished children.    The sense of loss is difficult for some to understand. What did we lose on the day of their death? Their wit and humor? Maybe. Their counsel and friendship? Most likely. But what we most often lose is what we treasured the most….their love. All the other values are easily replaced, but not their love. Grandma’s hugs….Grand Dad’s stories….Mom’s quiet and tender voice….Dad’s proud spirit and bad manners….our child’s laughter….our spouses soul. All these we can store in our memories and replay over and over, but it’s the essence of their love that we will miss the most and cannot replace.    The sense of who we are, often comes to the surface when someone close to us dies. We find that at that moment we are helpless. We can’t reach out to save or protect them. We are almost childlike in our attempt to understand it all. We are desperately alone and terrified for the first time of what they have taken from us……..their love. Many will say that their love stays with you always….well, that’s is a good thing, if you really need to hear that. But, for many, that warm love filled glow of their smile, comforting words, expressions, gentle kisses and caresses have now left as well as their spirit. The memories are treasured, but no longer felt by many.    The conclusion to all this, is possibly the most important thing we can do while we live…..just love! Love our family with a commitment that’s total and unconditional. Let not a day go by that you don’t tell them all that they are loved. Hug your friends both old and new and as often as possible. Teach your children by your very actions what love truly is and how important it is now and will always be to their lives. Let your parents know your gratitude with expressions of thankful love. And….last of all…..let your husband or wife know each and every day of your devotion and love. Not in words, but in treasured moments when you quietly look into their eyes and let them see your love, the kind of love that words are incapable of expressing. This overall endeavor of your love will one day be the legacy you leave behind, that will comfort and enrich those that meant so very much to you.

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