June 18, 2012
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The Curse Of Being Handsome…..I should know.
Man Beauty Can Be CruelWhen I was a very young lad, I was endowed with ‘cuteness’, which caused the girls to blush and giggle. My wavy locks and drum tight buttocks had more than once caused a few vaporous swoons.
As I matured and developed into maleosity, I became ‘handsome’. I now had chest hair that flowed like a wheat field across a pectoral prairie and my brown locks laced down to my shoulders like a raging waterfall and my butt was now the topic of many a confessional visit down at St. Agnes. I also had a moustache that sent out visual invitations of tickling ecstasy. I had become a social stag, which had cursed many a women to a state of moisten possibilities.
The years cascaded into decades and then one day I became defined as ‘distinguished’ looking. I’m not sure of the exact day it happened, but suddenly, I was being addressed as sir. I was also confronted with a partially exposed scalp and enlarged midriff which made it difficult to turn and admire my legendary derriere. I soon realized I needed industrial liposuck, hair restoration and an Infiniti G-37 convertible to maintain my sex appeal. But, as finances dictated….I wore a cap and bought a Nova.
As reality is as definite as a bowel moment, I finally woke one auspicious morn and discovered I was now a sixty year old ‘gentleman’. I was rotund, had a glazed cranium, a white chin wig and my ass had collapsed along with the stock market. I may have been handsome at some point of my long existence, but life tends to get ugly really fast. Now, when I sit on my front porch and wave at the pretty girls passing by….they usually report me!
Comments (12)
“chest hair that flowed like a wheat field over a pectoral prairie”…you had me swooning there ; )
Now, when I sit on my front porch and wave at the pretty girls passing by….they usually report me!… Picture me LOL over here… Perhaps you need to be waving at a more mature pretty woman. We’ve learned to appreciate a distinguised gentleman. *smile…
@WakeUpLaughing - Like I said….it’s like a curse.
I would’ve waved to you, but I tend to talk to strangers….
Hubby and I are sitting here laughing our butts off-well not actually. It is going to take more than a good laugh to get our butts off-a good treadmill and a strict diet.
I used to wake up immediately and hop out of bed. Now i come too and have not even had a drink, drag my body out of bed and crawl to the bathroom. I no longer look at the mirror I have to pass every morning as I have no idea who that gray haired old lady is looking back at me.What used to defy gravity now sags, drags and wrinkles. Ahh the golden years.
Very, very funny. I feel that way and, hopefully, I’m not even a third of the way through my lifespan yet. My daughter stole all my collagen, what can I say.
hahaha, I bet you are still quite distinguished, glazed head or not!
i was thinking the exact same thing–well, at least how i’d feel that one morning i wake up to an older face staring back at me in the bathroom mirror.
i laud your sense of humor and i am sure you look just great–a bit more mature is all
Thank you for this. It gave me my giggles for the night!
I like a glazed cranium and Nova’s – always have!
@BoulderChristina - Oh honey child!
@Lady_Kelacy - My son took my Ben-Gay