June 23, 2012
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My Frog story……yep, it’s about a frog.
The Slimy Facts Of Life….I love fishing. Just relaxing and enjoying the beauty and serenity of Lake Martin. I take my padded lawn chair, cooler packed with beer and ice and a couple of fried Spam sandwiches. For an old fart like me, life just can‘t get any better than this, but, on occasion, it can get a little weird.
I was sitting on the shore early one day right after a nice warm summer rain. As I fished, I was lullabied by all the lake’s squawking, chirping and croaking. That’s when I hear this little raspy voice on the ground next to my lawn chair.
“Pick me Up,” said this mysterious little voice. I looked down and gave a concentrated squint. “Pick me up!” the voice said again.
“Holy crap,” I said. “You’re a damn frog!” He was just sitting there under the broad leaf of a kudzu vine, staring up at me with his little beady frog eyes with his head cocked to one side. I thought the morning sun was poaching my brain, or else I was way ahead of schedule for being slouched for the day. Then I heard him croak again in his little deep froggy voice.
“Pick me up, pick me up….damn it!”
“Are you talking to me?” I replied. Considering I was conversing with an amphibian, I wanted to avoid any misunderstanding or assumptions on my part.
“Yes, I’m talking to you old fart,” the frog said. “Okay, here’s the friggin deal….pick me up, kiss my ass, and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll become your booty slave and every night we will make incredible, passionate love like wild beast in a breeding frenzy!”
Well, I analyzed it’s proposition and considered the various pros and cons of it. I studied the frog for a spell, and then reached down and gently picked it up. Carefully, I placed it in my shirt pocket. The frog started to croak up a fit and said, “What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your sex slave.”
I opened my shirt pocket, looked down at the frog and said,“Nah, at my age, I’d rather have a talking frog.”
With age comes wisdom…..ribbit!
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Comments (13)
Now this is a HUGE fish tale if I ever heard it. Even if it did get froggy.
Thanks for my first really good laugh of the day!!!
What a great gone fishin’ story I think I better have hubby read it I think he would get a kick out of it
that’s a funny fishy story.
I’m laughing…and sad. As usual.
Smart move, Charlie. Frogs carry warts and thats all you really need, a wart on your lip. Who would want to come near you then ? No sex slave thats for sure.
@runisom48 - A frogs life can really sux sometimes.
@promisesunshine - Just shows ya can’t trust old farts that like to fish.
@MzSilver - ……ribbit…..
Ah, but dint you know for a talking frog it was likely all in your head, you are hallucinating and stuff ?
And … am I hearing music on your page ? That’s fine and all but no controls for it ?
i wouldn’t trust any fisherperson.
that’s a funny story.
@masajes - Thank ya ma,am….
Me and hubby agree and we are laughing our asses off. We could make more money with a talking toad. Fried spam sandwiches-yep now that is the way to go.