June 25, 2012
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When playmates die….
THE GUYSI think, after we spend a lifetime tolerating the human race, God tries to make our 60’s as comfortable and pleasant as He can. We retire, our children go on their own, we rekindle the romance of our long marriages and then we sit back and reflect. We ponder the good events and achievements of our life as well as a few regrettable moments. The difficult times as well as the pleasant.
Sadly, there is something that now happens, that is not pleasant….but, sadly, inevitable. We must watch those around us start to die. Now in my 60’s, I recently became an orphan with the loss of my mother and now my heart breaks at the current loss of several close and wonderful friends. This is a time of eulogies and condolences.
Recently on Facebook, I learned from a childhood friend about some of the guys I grew up with in the old neighborhood that have now finished their lives and left us. Boys I shared my life with from the time I was 7 years old, until graduation at 18. Memories of summer days, when the eight of us played all day down at the creek looking for crawfish and salamanders. Running through the woods playing Roy Rogers and desperados. The first snow of the year when we’d all be out building a giant snowman and having snowball battles. All the great ball games we played down at the pasture. The rite of passage, years later, when the first of us scored with Jane Whats-her-name and shared the event with the rest of the guys the next day. So many smile-memories. But….of those eight, only two of us are left to grieve.
I found out two years ago, from one of my high school reunions, that all the teachers I had from those years had passed away, including all the coaches I admired. All that wisdom and compassion gone . I’ve also spent most of my life reflecting on those buddies who completed their lives in Vietnam and never had the chance to gather hopes and dreams. So many.
Yes, I know….and it’s true. It’s all part of life and the unstoppable cycle of generations. When your time comes….it comes. But still, I can close my eyes now and see all my young pals patiently waiting for me on the other side of the creek and they’re all waving at me and laughing their asses off. They need me to hurry and come play first base again. It’s this warm thought that makes me smile now, and in a way, helps me to understand life a little clearer. Seems life may only be a short chapter….and just the prologue of things to be.
Comments (19)
I feel you. I’m almost 60 and am already seeing what you describe. It is odd being an orphan too.
Hang in there!
Perhaps they should call retirement homes “orphanages,” for those of us who are all orphans by this age!
A sad blog, brother Charlie. I feel your words and reflect on the equality of them. All we can do is allow the memories to keep us young and be strong, and always look forward to the challanges ahead.
@slmret - Interesting how life evolves.
@UncCharlie - Isn’t it — I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently as we approach my dad’s 100th birthday — he died 43 years ago! With my mother’s death in 2010, I’m now an orphan ~ ~ ~
@slmret - Dad passed 42 years ago this Dec. and I lost Mom in 2011. She never remarried.
Sadly, we all lose our friends over time. I’ve already lost several.
“Life is an hourglass glued to the table.”
At a mere 25, it is hard to imagine still, a different world. In so many ways, I still cling to childhood comforts. But as the years slip unnoticably away, they get harder and harder to hold onto.
Thank you for your insight. I really needed something beautiful in my world today
Dear Charlie,
Thank you for visiting my blog, and for the comment and friend request. I checked out a few entries and read your profile. ( You write: “…if you enjoy them, then I’m happy. If they are not to your taste, well then bite me.” That supplied my laugh for the day.
Looking over your archives, I noticed that last month you posted 31 entries. Made me wonder if I’d ever posted that many in one month. So I looked over my own archives. Last time I posted double digits was 17 entries in May of 2011. Last time I posted over 20 entries in a month was 24 in Dec. 2005. I posted a whopping 44 in July 2004. That was a couple of months after I started. I can go weeks now without even looking at my dear ol’ Xanga blog! I will supply a link to my essay: Why and How I Blog. It’s a quick (well, no, you can’t call anything I “do” on the internet “quick” I suppose.) primer on my blog.
Okay, now to actually comment on your blog and post. Liked the photos of animals, and the black and white self portraits. I also checked out some earlier entires. The entry to which I am commenting is quixotic and nostalgic, a perfect reverie of aging, memory, and loss. When I witness the grief which afflicts a lot of my peers as their parents either pass away physically or mentally these days, I am somewhat relieved I already went through that long ago. (My peeps died early right after I turned 21) I’m facing the “big 6-0″ next May. And I’ve lost three “best friends” already, but it’s because they all died ridiculously young.
(I’d like to read more about the episode with Jane What’s Her Name!)
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
@TechnicoloredDREAMGIRL -
When we seek the truth and beauty of life, we’re often allowed to remain children at heart. Thanks for the nice comment…..Charlie
@baldmike2004 - Thanks for all the wise and kind words. As far as Jane Whats-her-name…….we’ve all met her early in our lives. She was special to us all.
This is one of the hardest things to accept when we get older, our friends and loved ones die. So sorry for your loss and acceptance is a long time coming for me and hubby still.
I am sorry for your loss. I am still young enough that if any of my friends died, it would be considered unexpected, tragic, etc. Some of my teachers may have passed on, the ones that were old when I knew them. I am at the age when I go to family reunions I realize that I am one of the adults now and my parents are becoming elders. It kind of makes me sad.
nice story.
I am sorry for your loss and have been in this valley of sorrow a few times in the last few years, it is never easy letting go even when I believe they are in a better place.
Same here…crawfish, salamanders and snails, and baseball. Throwing apples from sticks at each other from behind our forts. Half the neighborhood disappeared in Vietam. Wrestling practise in the dungeon and weightlifting with my best friend. I still lift weights at least.
I think about this subject a lot. I hate the idea of death, of leaving this wonderful world. I don’t think I will ever be ready.
Even though I am not in my 60′s, still I have lost both my parents. My mother on 2009 and father 27 years ago. So I am orphan too.
I firmly believe that as long as we remember, they never really die. “Write” your book now, telling anyone that will listen, how it used to be. Do you know one of my best friends daughters knew it was a phone in a second hand store but could not figure out how they called the number….it was a rotary dial. My grandson went with me to a stock car race and wondered how I remembered all the words to the National Anthem…I took my sons to a house I grew up in and drove them to the school I walked to every day, they told me that they had always believed walking two miles to school was an urban lesson. And your baseball buddies? Yes they are waiting on their first baseman but remember they exist in the moment, eternity is a long time, they just want you to know they remember you……
I am 64 years old but I can pick and choose the age I want to be…high school, prom night, the months I lived with my late husband who died during Viet Nam, the little things like carrying the laundry to the laundrymat. Both life and death are a mystery and but a moment in time. Enjoy all your ages now.