July 12, 2012
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HOW TO BE A PERFECT WOMAN….ten requirments
THE PERFECT WOMANDuring the last 65 solar orbits of my life, I have observed, experience, consumed and mentally regurgitated all the important elements required to classify a woman as a perfect mate. For those of you who are feminist, self-righteous liberals, pompous conservatives, Ukrainian lesbians or Nancy Boys, please don’t read the following as you may experience an anal aneurism.
1….It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, is a great cook, cleans up and has a job.
2….It’s important to have a woman who can tell a good joke and always laughs at your‘s.
3….It’s important to have a woman who is excellent in bed, and a little kinky.
4….It’s important to have a woman who caters to your every whim while out in public.
5….It’s important to have a woman that totally believes every word you say and supports your alibis.
6….It’s important to have a woman who takes care of her figure and maintains ‘breast perky-ness‘.
7….It’s important to have a smart woman who understands the value of acting dumb.
8….It’s important to have a woman who knows her place, but keeps it to herself.
9….It’s important to have a woman who needs love without having to be understood.
10….It’s important to have a woman that knows where everything is and leaves it there.
As I have no place in my life for ten different women….I’ll just keep the one I have now, because……It’s also important to have a women who makes you feel important, for just being her husband.
Sugar Bear Charlie
Comments (23)
i approve of this message
i don’t have a job and my cooking is subpar
Awww… just think how lonely you’d be if you’d held out for the perfect woman or she the perfect man.
My hubby is laughing at the perfect woman and says you forgot she has to learn to appreciate a good fart:)
@Grannys_Place - You said it gilfriend!
@Ampbreia - OK….ya got a point there.
I try to be the perfect woman, but decided to be naughty instead.
I like this alot cuz mainly im old fashioned when it comes to relationships and things and im good at cooking lol, only difference is i dont keep my place to myself, i get in people’s face when they mess wit me lol
I’ve got a couple of those covered. I’ll let you guess which ones.
rofl I lost it at “breast perkiness”
My wife only has 2 of these, oh I am still keeping her. Hahaha
I don’t like acting dumb, catering to my every whim, believe everything I say, “knows her place” and doesn’t care about being understood. The other things are pretty okay though. Not all necessarily “requirements”, but stuff that I’d consider a ‘plus’. The real true requirements for me is: 1) Be physically attractive enough for me to want to have sex with you. 2) Have common interests and things that I can relate to and 3) Don’t treat me like shit/like a dog/like I’m a disgusting pig for liking sex/like I’m an ATM/like I’m a disposable workhorse etc etc. Allow me to have my own autonomy and I’ll allow you to have yours. Bitching about me leaving the toilet seat up doesn’t fly with me as I wouldn’t bitch to you about putting the toilet seat down when I like it up. The golden rule prevails.
Regardless, a funny list.
So basically a perfect woman is the tailoring product of a dumb-witted, insecure and superficial man. Huh? What about the woman’s needs?
@Parsimony -
No…..not at all, seems you missed the point. This “tongue-in-cheek” post simply poked fun at some unrealistic fantasies of a few unrealistic men. The reality is my closing statement…….“It’s also important to have a women who makes you feel important, for just being her husband.” The point is, men should always be thankful for who they have, as a lot of us are not the best catch in the pond, (dumb-witted, insecure and superficial).
@Its_PapaBear - 2 out of 10 ain’t bad!!………don’t let her go!
@UncCharlie - I see no wonder I did not agree. I don’t think like an unrealistic man. Or do I? You can check out my list on my blog.
Yep, pretty much THAT woman comes in a box with a pump! lmao
I can’t be perfect because I’m perfectly imperfect.
now that’s funny – I don’t care who you are
I love it that #1 is “helps at home.” Who is she “helping,” this woman?????
@TiredSoVeryTired - Now that’s funny!!
@RestlessButterfly - Well…..that’s just perfect!!
@mlbncsga - Me neither….
This is funny and so true.