July 13, 2012
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We Deballed The Dog……for his own good, right???
BOY, IS HE GONNA BE SURPRISED!!
We de-balled the dog not long ago. My son’s dog, that is. A beautiful two year old American boxer. 75 pounds of uncontrollable love and ravenous aggravation! Goat leaping from one piece of furniture to another and chewing up anything it could clamp it’s jaws on as if it were some kind of canine wood chipper! The dog was so high strung, that it barked at everything that moved or made a noise, including it’s own farts.
The decision to confiscate it’s jewels was out of desperation to calm the beast down for the sake of our household possessions, grandma’s lap, and as a deterrent from copulating with every breed of mongrel, turtle, raccoon and mail carrier that passed through our neighborhood. It was not a pleasant thing to discuss among family members, but he was driving us all nuts with his behavior….so, minus the nuts and minus the behavior.
My son took him to the castrator and dropped him off to be lopped. Four hours later, he picked up a different dog. He brought the poor animal back to my house in a effort to make me feel guilty for instigating the plan in the first place. The pathetic animal slowly, (very slowly), walked in the front door and looked up at me in a state of bewilderment. He had this huge lamp shade strapped around his neck which was also bewildering to him due to the fact he wasn’t even able to visually investigate why he was so bewildered. He just lumbered around like a stranded tourist who had just lost their luggage. Sad. He stopped and looked up again at me and I could tell he felt I was to blame for his transformation into an eunuch. I felt as sad as he did, except I could still breed.
I’m not saying neutering is always the best solution, except for maybe rapist, adulterous politicians and lawyers. But, for a huge galloping pet-beast, with the mentality of a lap dog and a mouth like a cosmic black hole consuming the household universe….just pluck them berries!
Charlie
Comments (6)
Personally I think the money would have been better spent on a dog trainer. End result ? A better educated dog with balls.
Dogs look funny when they’re lying on their backs. I personally don’t like dogs at all so…
Poor guy…but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Lawyers, yeah. I would recommend snipping all the politicians. But it’s superfluous. The lobbyists beat us to it.
@we_deny_everything - Excellent comeback!!!!!!
Yeah, I’m stalking you. Get over it.