August 9, 2012
-
Descent Into Hell…..another family reunion!!
My extended and questionable family has a mega reunion every few years. It’s reminiscent of the cycles that swarming locust follow minus the potato salad. The current swarm was held last Saturday at a nice beach park not far from here so I was enticed by Wifey to get off my retired butt and take her to it.
Wifey concocted a squash and pecan casserole and then put the recipe on her Facebook page incase anyone at the gathering needed the antidote later that night. When we showed up at the park, I carried the ten pound vat of steaming squash over to the sheltered pavilion where all the other trademark dishes of other families were being displayed. There was fried chicken, BBQ, fried chicken, chunks of ham, fried chicken, ribs, fried chicken and a tray of dark colored meat that deflected most stares. There were veggies of all kinds, (potato salad making up half of the entries) and in the middle of it all was the large steel bowl of Wifey’s squash creation with a scooping spoon the size of a grave digger’s shovel. Bon appetit cousins.
As an honest disclaimer, I do have many fond memories of past reunions. I remember as a kid jumping out of the car at a run to go meet up with cousins I had not seen in ages, (months) and then spend the rest of the day running with the herd. If there was a lake near by….well then, we were all in nirvana! We made a lot of noise, got in everyone’s way and just loved poking fun at all the old fogies’ sitting under the shade trees swapping war stories and complaining about arthritis and politics.
As a teen, I used to look forward to seeing all my female cousins and appraising their breast growth and then talking sports with the guys. The impact of seeing a gorgeous blond cousin that used to pick boogers with you, now walking by in a bikini that challenged every law of nature, played massive turbulence with my brain.
When I became a family man, the reunions were more for our kids and the fried chicken. It was now that I was able to study and analyze the cousins I’d known, off and on, for over 30 years and the conclusion I reached, was that our family tree most definitely had a case of root rot. My God, what happens to people? There were dopers’, burnouts, sluts, preachers and insurance salesmen. Most of my female cousins were now in their mid thirties and currently members in good standing in the “Cheese Cake of the Month Club.” The men just gathered in small groups and consoled each other on their current divorces. The current generation of old fogies continued to gum their debates under the shade trees.
Anyway….there were not as many clan members at Saturday’s event. I’m sure it was due to the expense of getting here and staying a day or two that was out of budget range for many. Most of those there seemed to be foreign to me anyway, in more ways than one. All the alpha women were in charge while the kids mostly sat around in a Ritalin daze and the teens stared down with bloodshot eyes as they text messaged for someone to come rescue them. It was all different now. So, I just sat back under a shade tree and debated politics with my retired cousins.
Charlie
Comments (16)
we as a small sect don’t get together anymore but I know the bigger family does in TN, BIG OL Baker family…
What a picture you paint. I am glad you have family living to at least have a day like this to mull over. The older I get, the fewer of anyone that admits to being my family. I know it’s a challenge in the changing times and the recession of the “old guard”, but I envy you the gift of family. I miss mine so much I ache.
@Kris0logy - Gets scary when there’s too many….
@JadeMaster2 - Yeah, just wish I could remember who they are.
LMBO!
Today, I almost felt sorry for myself for having no contact with my family…Thanks man!!
are you of the opinion- that you’ve seen enough of the world that bullshit show pony trot outs to reunions? it’s potato salad OOOO go to the local grocer’s deli wow…. ooo impress me with an acre of largely incorrectly held foods ..yeah I I’d scream at any other restaurant trying to poison me with such standards.. I mean PEASE. kids, fat matrons, so much origniality you’ wanna scream chlorinate the gene pool
@Bricker59 - My jobs done for the day….guess I’ll just go to bed now.
dang, i haven’t been to a reunion in years. thank god.
@promisesunshine - The next one needs to be at HOOTERS!
Squash and pecan? Sounds interesting. I love food and I’ll eat anything.
I remember “noticing” my older cousin had developed curves and mountains on her chest before I was sure what they were. Her name was Diana and that was the year Paul Ankas song Diana came out. I was crazy in love with her. If we’d have lived in West Virginny I woulda married her.
These days, it’s kinda hard to attend family reunion when family members become strangers and strangers become family.
@runisom48 - Sounds like a good story.
@RestlessButterfly - That was a great statement and it holds a lot of truth.
My reunions are no more as either they have passed over to the side of the angels or moved to far away. We do not go to hubbys reunions as they all smoke like fiends and he can not be around cigarette smoke.
it’s kind of nice you have these reunions.
i hate some people in my family. they’re full of shit. more than i can bear
i wouldn’t mind at all if i never saw them again but i love most of my relatives. they’re strange in a great way