September 13, 2012

• Getting Old…….then just a memory

  
          JUST A MEMORY? 

   

      Each morning when I get up, I walk into the bathroom and look into the mirror. Not really sure why; maybe to make sure something didn’t grow during the night or even something fell off. Now-a-days, the mirror serves no other purpose. At one time I used it to make the necessary adjustments and modifications required before I went out into the world to work or socialize each day. Those days are long pass now. Retirement, cruel complacency and “so what” have all taken hold now. I’m old.

      I have now accepted the fact that I will never be President of the United States, nor will I ever appear on ‘Jeopardy’. Add to that list; I will never experience the exhilaration of an expensive lap dance. Seems the only fantasy I can hold out for is a possible role on the next Stallone movie, “The Expendables 3.” But, I doubt it cause I’m retired!

      Please don’t get me wrong! I enjoy being a walking organ donor with attitude. Seems I’m just standing on the corner of “IT’S OVER STREET”, waiting for the “DO NOT RESUSCITATE” bus to show up. Stop shaking your head and doing that tut, tut sound with your tongue! Believe me, my life has been full and rewarding.

      I’ve broken nearly every major bone in my body and ripped some Richter Scale farts in church. I have dated, in my early manhood, every specie of female known to exist, just shy of those found on the Galapagos Islands. I am ashamed to confess that I was easy and allowed many of them to take full advantage of me….numerous times.

      I have been a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian and Baptist and followed false prophets in all of them. I’ve been successful in management, but a failure in business. I’ve collected two college degrees and still, I can’t spell for crabp. I taught high school for two years and loved the profession, but hated the devious juveniles.
   
      I have had my loves and hates. I hate uncooked cats, Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians and Baptist. Love God, but hate religion. Love football and hate baseball. Still enjoy ‘I Love Lucy’ but hate Desi. Love winter, but hate those ‘Snuggie’ blankets and I hate summer, but love air conditioning. I love my beef cooked slaughterhouse rare, but gag on sushi. I love beer, but hate prune juice….but need to drink both.

      I have been very blessed in my long life. Married to a wonderful woman who can still do a cartwheel at 66, (if properly medicated), while I can only spin a roulette wheel! I have had four kids, who are all grown now and currently out in the world screwing up on their own. However, my kids did bless me with a boatload of precious money grubbing grandkids, that I wouldn’t swap for anything without just cause. Some of my elder relatives are still alive and doing well, even though several of them still think it’s WW II! Many of my older in-laws are still alive, but I’m patience.

      My life has truly been about those that I have loved and sadly, those that I have hurt along the way. I can’t say that I would have lived differently, if given the chance, but I would have cherished each and every day a lot more. Some day, the memory of me will be nothing more than an old photograph tossed in some old incinerator, so let me wrap up this wandering blog with this final scrip about my life……Every morning has a gala opening and every night a grand finale……and it was nice to have been the star!

                                                                                                                                                                 “Good night Gracie….”

   

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