September 17, 2012
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Marriage and Death……it’s all the same
THAT SPECIAL DAY!There are two events in life that serve as a type of finality. One is the funeral and the other is the wedding. Both bring a closure, of sorts, to a life. The funeral is comprised of guest in proper attire bearing witness to the demise of one’s life. There are tears, flowers, supportive words and laments for the deceased. Then the gathering of friends and family for food and reflection. The wedding is comprised of guest in proper attire bearing witness to the demise of the groom’s life. There are tears, flowers, supportive words and laments for the couple. Then the gathering of friends and family for champagne and reflection. The only real difference between a funeral and wedding is that the central figure, stands for one and reclines for the other.
At the last wedding I attended, it was interesting to make comparisons and analyze those in attendance. The groomsmen reminded me too much of pallbearers and the groom’s hangover pallor bore some similarity to that of a corpse washed up on the beach. The bride was dressed in a white starchy gown that would soon end up in a large box and buried away, possibly forever. Her makeup was applied in several layers like stucco, in order to mask imperfections and puffy eyes. The somber minister pontificated about life, harmony and salvation before finally officiating. Seems that the only real difference in the script is that at funerals, the preacher doesn’t have to pronounce the dead as deceased.
A bachelor party is the equivalent of a ‘wake’, where everyone swaps stories and antidotes about the man’s life while drinking free booze and eating jalapeño poppers. Both events usually end with a lot of crying and throwing up. Bachelorette parties, I assume, are also like wakes, where the women discuss how really good the woman looks while they consume liters of white wine along with endless trays of weenie hors d’oeuvres and cheesecake Petit fours. Likewise, the traditional evening ends with a lot of crying and purging.
By the end of the day, when all is said and done, and the two types of ceremonies are concluded and paid for……the participant of one will have been laid to rest, while the other….is simply being laid.
CHARLIE
Comments (14)
I’m avoiding marriage. I’m almost to the age where it won’t be “forced.” I get to lose if I partake in life. It isn’t a good situation for a lot of us. The wedding is the death of a life. I end up divorced with a bunch of children. They set me up for that every single time.
Disturbingly accurate analogies.
@JadeMaster2 - Kept me awake all night!
I completely agree.
That picture just cracks me up.
Meh. I just got laid to rest. Not much difference at all between wedding and funeral. *SIGH* By the way, you look really cute in your wedding gown.
I agree with the analogy, but why did you write, “The wedding is comprised of the guest in proper attire bearing witness to the demise of the groom’s life” ? and not bride and groom’s life? Or, what did you mean by demise of the groom’s life?
@bethro78 - I’ve changed my ways since then.
@Ampbreia - Love the feel of silk and starch.
@Jewelbeetles - No more running around having fun being bad. Now the groom has to shape up and live his new life on the straight and narrow.
I never really thought of it that way before.
Oh my, you in that wedding dress is just wrong:)
@UncCharlie - Does that mean the wife can continue to run around being bad? ; )
You forgot the bit about how, in either event, you get a giant vacuum hose shoved into your wallet to suck you dry.