September 29, 2012
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COMPUTER DEMONS!!!!!
Yes…..I said DEMONS!
Sunday, I downloaded a Demon Virus! It was one of those hideous apparitions that says it’s a security program that’s been alerted to a dangerous virus that has nested among my computer’s goodies. For only $39 dollars, (that’s 4,160 Chinese Li), it would go after and destroy the demon! Well….I didn’t just fall off the rhubarb truck yesterday! I know a scam when I hear one, so I tried to get rid of it myself. It froze my McAfee security, my restore program, and every effort to get rid of it failed. Soon it was flashing a warning every 20 seconds of the danger I was in and to hurry and enter my credit card number. I did a total reboot and file cleaning, and then my computer turned on me!! Fought me with error reports that I had never hear of before and several times it said things that brought tears to my eyes. Monday morning, just before noon…..my computer went…….dormant.
I took it to the computer doctor to examine. Later, he sat me down and said there was no hope. The hard drive was beyond Viagra’s help and the mother board was no longer bored. He tried to be gentle. I left with the remains of my computer and then sat quietly in my car for a very long time before calling Wifey.
“We lost her,” I told Wifey.
“Lost who?” She was trying to be gentle.
“The mother board,” I quietly said.
“What the hell’s a mother board!” she consoled.
“The heart of the computer. Lost her for good because of that virus!” I said.
“If you’d stay away from those boobie sites, you would have never gotten that computer clap,” she reasoned. “Well, go get another one at Sam’s Club.”
“Yes dear,” I said as I hung up and then cheered as I wet my pants with excitement.I walked into Sam’s Club later and stood there at the doorway with damp shorts on and said to the 80 year old greeter at the door….”Computers…..point the way!!” I spent the next two days putting together this Asian assembled contraption, trying to keep track of instructions that obviously the UN had put out, but finally I succeeded.
This new one has no tower! It’s all in one and the days of using thick cables are over. Just these little wimpy USB cords and ports. This means my old cable printer is screwed now. All and all, it’s nice to move on to the next generation of electronics. But, I’ll really miss my old computer and the good times we had in private.
Charlie
Comments (18)
May your old computer rest in piece. Sorry you went throught that. I forget the name of the virus, which comes in the guise of an only cure for a fake virus, but I had that happen… I don’t know how many years ago. There was a way to remove it though. I think what I did was move all my document and picture files onto CDs (not having had a flash at the time), wiped the hard disk of all programs, reloaded the programs fresh from their original software, including a new anti-virus program, and then downloaded all my saved files back onto it, letting the anti-virus discard anything it considered contaminated. The few things it discarded were NOT the original files. Rather it was more like corrupted copies of those files. The demon beast had actually been hidden among the programs though for the most part, just scattering a few partial backups here and there which the anti-virus scan caught during the reloading process. Anyway… new is nicer anyway. Just be sure you get a good anti-virus program RIGHT AWAY.
@Grannys_Place - If your fan starts getting noisy, it means it’s loaded down with dust and finding it difficult to breathe, which means that, yes, the computer is badly overheating and on its way to being severely damaged. Usually there’s a way to take the side off to expose it. Be sure the power is totally disconnected when you do this and never EVER touch the parts you see inside. For one thing, a computer, like a television set, can carry a powerful residual charge that can easily knock you on your butt. I don’t know how many hours it takes to bleed off after you’ve disconnected all power input, but even if it does, your body carries a charge as well that can send static electricity into any circuit you touch and possibly fry it. So okay, no touchy! Next you get yourself a can of compressed air from either Office Depot, an auto parts store, or a computer store, and you use that to blow the dust off the fan, out of the vents,and anywhere else in there it may have accumulated. I’d do it outside if I were you. There can be a LOT of dust in there! Once it’s all cleaned out, you can put the side back on and reconnect it and all will be well. Trust me on this. It’s one of the things we do regularly in the calibration lab I work in. There are other types of equipment we have to blow out at least once a year or they will overheat and possibly cause fires.
!!!Curse you, progress!!! I comisurate! I got a virus like that from, of all things, a website for Chinese Jade. I think it’s their version of planned obsolescence. I look at jade carvings from the past, and it forces me to pay for jade digging tomorrow.
@Ampbreia - Good advice….thanks a million love.
You mean my friendly Red Dot Indian friend that promised to wire me $2 million is a scam too?
I don’t want no Indian diseases!=)
Good luck with your new computer and I hope you totally enjoy it.
Some times change is hard to go through but it is amazing what this new age of technology has to offer. Hope the new computer has you back to smiling in no time.
@JadeMaster2 - The old “Jade” virus….oldest known to man.
@Grannys_Place - My window to the world.
@Want2FitIn2Fat2Fit - I hope not!!!!!
@UncCharlie - I got bitten by the “Original” Jade virus when I was about twelve, still the most beautiful stone I know of.
@Ampbreia - I heard a story about someone who found an old floppy disk & thought he’d try it & it had a virus. It made all his drives inoperable and the only cure was to throw away his hard drive. Normally I suggest anybody who has a virus reinstalls their windows dvdrom. The later versions of windows come with drivers for your hardware that mostly install automatically. If you have to install your drivers manually it can be a bit complicated especially if you are a newbie. Obviously also if you have valuable data you need to save that. I would recommend run your antivirus software maybe every 3 days.
Baha, for this very reason, I asked my two guy friends for virus-free porn sites. I’m dead serious. So far, so good on being virus-free. I never download anything, either.
But it does suck that you lost your computer. Total bummer. If I got a virus on this computer, I’d be dead. It’s my sister’s laptop that I have until she moves out of our parents’ house, and it doesn’t look like that’s happening any time soon.
You fell for the old ‘you have a virus’ scam hook, line and sinker? *ROTFLMAO*
Heyyyyyyy! How did you get that video of me typing a rant??! Does this thing have a webcam I was unaware of? GAH!
Regarding the virus thing, I feel ya. I have a mound of dearly departed computers in my back yard, next to my collection of cars that apparently had no trade-in value.
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