January 14, 2013

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                          FAT CHANCE!!

      I was driving to the park this morning to catch a couple of squirrels for dinner and on my way, I passed a stopped school bus. It looked like a great yellow sow giving birth to a litter of squealing kidlets!!! My Gawd, what a bunch of chunk-o‘s!! These fat little kids poured out of the bus like Gummy Bears and then waddled off huffing and puffing. There must be six or seven young families in my neighborhood with school age kids, but you seldom see them after school. When I take my pre dinner walk each day, I rarely see or hear any of these younguns because they are either watching mind mushing cartoons or playing genocide games on their Xbox! Mom’s not there because she ran down to McDonalds to pick up their supper, unless it’s Saturday nigh, and they’re eagerly waiting for Jeff the pizza delivery guy.

      Okay, here it comes……‘When I was young…..,’ as soon as I got home from school, I was back out the door before it had a chance to close. If I had to take a leak, well there were plenty of places for that outside. I would meet up with my pals at Danny’s garage and from there we would take off like a posse in pursuit of renegades and evil doers. We might go and play baseball, run down to the cow pasture and play in the creek or we might take on our commando façade and sneak into the cantaloupe field and rescue a few. We never stopped until the sun was going down or the loudest mother was calling someone to dinner. We didn’t have time to gain weight!

      Now, I read about all these lawsuits and focus groups who are blaming the ‘Fast Food’ industry for our adolescent porkers. It’s not them and even though the parents should shoulder most of the blame….it’s not totally their fault either. We have contorted our culture into a stagnant, lard friendly environment of lazy kids who’s only role model is Jabba the Hutt!!

      You want to change this? Well, when your kids come home from school, pull them away from the TV or computer and chase them out the front door. Explain to them that playing outside does not require a game controller and that any kids they happen to encounter will not harm them. Also tell them that you still love them and it’s okay for them to come back home when they get tired or break something. If there’s snow on the ground, hand them a shovel. Next, make cookies and sweets a treat and not a food group. Saturday night pizza is still a good idea because the parents want it too. Next; family walks in the evening, backyard badminton, (don’t laugh), or shooting hoops in the driveway. Make your kids take the first step and they’ll take it from there. They can wait until middle age to get fat and then break all the rules, cause they’ll be in charge then.

                                                                                                                                                                                      Charlie

   

   

                             

   

   

   

   

  • 10:40 pm
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